Kai's Poetry Journal
by Rapid P. Saiko
Summary: Self-explanatory. Tyka
1. Chapter 1

So I was looking through some old poetry of mine and realized that some of it could totally be Tyka. All the poetry is my own.

Disclaimer: I do not own beyblade.

* * *

 _You actually see me,_

 _Stripped down, bare to the core,_

 _You see my soul._

 _No matter what mask, wall or defence I put up,_

 _You gently pull it away._

 _To my surprise there is no judgement or disgust._

 _Only love in your eyes._

 _I don't see why,_

 _This body is tainted, beaten, bruised, bloody._

 _My wings nothing but a crumpled mess of feathers,_

 _You extend your hand into my isolate darkness,_

 _Offer me love, hope, protection, a brighter future._

 _Do I leave the comforts of my dark sanctuary?_

 _Do I risk trusting you with everything?_

 _What if you leave?_

 _What if you change your mind?_

 _Somehow you read my mind,_

 _You promise you won't._

 _I slowly accept your hand._

 _It's so warm,_

 _I had forgotten what warm feels like._

 _Somehow your strength courses through my body,_

 _You help me on my feet,_

 _Taking a step I stumble,_

 _Like lighting you're there._

 _You embrace me,_

 _My entire body is warm,_

 _You kiss me,_

 _Lighting courses through me,_

 _I stop bleeding._

 _You kiss me again._

 _Bruises disappear, scars fade,_

 _Again and again we kiss,_

 _The pain is now gone._

* * *

Unfortunately I do not have the power to read minds, so please send me a review letting me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

I ended up reading something tonight and a wave of emotions hit me. Enjoy this darker poem. ~ **RPS**

* * *

 _I need to get my head out of the past,_

 _There's nothing left for me there,_

 _Only pain._

 _Be strong,_

 _Be brave,_

 _Face the future head-on._

 _I'm trying,_

 _But it's so hard,_

 _When the only future I ever saw,_

 _Was one with you in it._


	3. Chapter 3

_After all these years,_

 _I know why I lied to you,  
Kept my distance,  
Walked away so many times,_

 _It's because you were always so flawless,_  
 _How could I ever stand a chance at owning your heart,_  
 _When I knew I would never be enough for you?_

 _All I can do is admire you from afar,_  
 _Cherish every smile you send my way,_

 _I could tell you how I feel,_  
 _But I don't dare risk our friendship,_  
 _It's the only thing that keeps me sane,_

 _But it hurts me so much,_  
 _And I can't help but to wonder,_  
 _Do you feel the same way?_


	4. Chapter 4

Soooo...I found an old notebook with a lot of poems in it and I think this one was one of my favourites...I don't own Kai. The poetry is mine though. Also FUCK THE FORMATING!

* * *

 _Lives so fragile,_

 _So delicate,_

 _Everything can change in a second,_

 _They could wind up dead._

 _The future can be altered,_

 _In such a sick and twisted way,_

 _Our lives being played with,_

 _Toyed with,_

 _In other people's hands,_

 _One simple mistake,_

 _And it's all over._

 _Everything is connected,_

 _Everything is balanced,_

 _When you shift that balance,_

 _Everything falls apart._

 _The Devil cries,_

 _People scream,_

 _Before this night is over,_

 _All will be lost._


	5. Chapter 5

_"Go Dranzer!"_

 _I freeze._

 _Cold works its way through my lungs._

 _I can't breathe._

 _"C'mon do it, Dranzer!"_

 _The child tries to copy my attack,_

 _His blade falls on its side,_

 _I turn away,_

 _A bitter emptiness fills my chest._

 _When will they learn?_

 _It takes more than stolen moves,_

 _It takes hard work,_

 _Passion,_

 _Dedication,_

 _To create your own._


	6. Chapter 6

_You never cared about me,  
You only pretended to,  
How many times did I hear,  
"I'm doing this to make you stronger."?_

Prim and proper with perfect grades,

 _Nothing more than a puppet,  
My hopes and dreams meant nothing to you,  
I could never be anything less than perfection._

You beat me for everything,  
A zero,  
A zit,  
A loss,  
Nothing to ruin my image...

 **Your image.**

Well sorry,  
I'm not your puppet,  
Your soilder,  
Your pawn.

I don't need your power,

 _Your influence,  
Your love,  
I'll get stronger on my own!_

My teammates never cared,  
For anything except me,  
They embraced everything that you despised,  
Allowed me to be what I really am...

Human.


	7. Chapter 7

_I can't do this._  
 _I can't do this._

 _I cast my eyes away from their smiling faces,_  
 _My heart throbbing._

 _I needed air._

 _But I stayed where I was,_

 _My feelings slowly suffocating me._

 _They had no idea who I was,_  
 _What I was capable of,_  
 _What my mission was._

 _I watched as they bonded with their beasts,_  
 _Slowly learning about the power that they possessed._

 _How lovingly they talked about their beasts._

 _If they knew what I was,_

 _Who I was,_  
 _What I was sent to do,_

 _Would they forgive me?_  
 _Knowing that it wasn't my choice?_

 _I close my eyes._  
 _I knew what would happen._

 _I would be alone again._

 _Friends,_  
 _Who needed them?_

 _I had to rely on my own power,_  
 _Be ready to draw my blade..._

 _And force myself to fight back the tears,_  
 _As I stole what was most precious to them._


	8. Chapter 8

Daichi had said it best,  
 _"There can only be one_ _W_ _orld_ _C_ _hamp!"_

You were my first friend,  
...But we were rivals before we were friends.

We have a score to settle.  
...But do I dare leave?

I can see it,  
Your confidence is shaken.

You're afraid.  
...But my soul is restless.

I don't want to leave you.  
...But you're not alone, are you?

Kenny,  
Hilary,

Daichi,

Even your brother are all behind you.

It is _**me**_ who is alone.

I've been relying on you since that day on the ice,  
...But no more!

I'm leaving...  
I refuse to live in your shadow.

I will be the best.  
...Goodbye.


	9. Chapter 9

Pain envelops my heart,  
Steals away my breath,  
I look at your triumphant face.

"What? No scathing reply? It's because it's true isn't it?"

I grit my teeth,  
Clench my fists in rage,  
I look up at you,

Your face pales,  
Your mouth falls open,  
I can see the goosebumps spreading across your skin,

 _"Kai-"_

 _"Save it!"_

I turn on my heels,  
Walk away,

Because even though it's true,  
I'll never let you see my tears,

So even though you won the battle,  
I will always win the war. 

* * *

**A/N: Purposely left this open to interpretation.**


	10. Chapter 10

This is an old poem of mine that is deeply personal and I wrote it during a deep depression about 10 years ago. I edited it to suit Kai's needs. I think this would be an accurate portrayal of what Kai may have been feeling just before he accepted Black Dranzer, using the bitbeast's power to help fill the void and make him feel less numb. I find this poem to be just so raw. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

 _There is something missing from my life._  
 _I've been not only stripped of my virginity,_  
 _But something more._  
 _I just don't know what that something is._  
 _Have I lost my courage?_  
 _My wisdom?_  
 _My smile?_  
 _My laugh?_

 _Or am I just bored?_

 _Whatever it is,_  
 _Without it I'm unhappy,_  
 _My laugh and smile have disappeared._  
 _I wonder if I am just cold?_  
 _Is that the reason why I hardly ever feel any warmth?_  
 _Is that the reason for my emptiness?_

 _No._

 _Whatever was stripped from me is the reason why cold and emptiness has filled my heart._  
 _Along with pain,_  
 _Sorrow,_  
 _Depression,_  
 _Anger,_  
 _Hate._  
 _What do I hate?_  
 _My life?_  
 _Boris?_

 _No._

 _It's the way I deal with things._  
 _I hate myself,_  
 _My emotional behaviour,_  
 _And the reason for that..._

 _...Is that the thing that was taken from me?_  
 _Trust?_

 _Perhaps, it could be the reason why I inwardly flinch whenever anyone touches me._  
 _I tried to let someone in, but they could sense me,_  
 _The true me._  
 _The me who is trapped inside a small dark corner,_  
 _Frightened and scared to death._

 _He had a glimpse of this person,_  
 _They all did,_  
 _And they cried._  
 _And now I cannot shed any tears._

 _Perhaps that's the reason._  
 _The reason for my emptiness,_  
 _The cold,_  
 _The sorrow,_  
 _The pain,_  
 _The depression,_  
 _The anger,_  
 _The hate,_

 _The eternal suffering._

 _The fact that I cannot let it out,_  
 _I keep it bottled up,_  
 _Concealed within bullet-proof glass._  
 _That's what separates me from my emotions,_  
 _In here,_  
 _In my heart,_  
 _I feel it._

 _I feel the burning pain,_  
 _The burden of holding it all within my chest,_  
 _It's agony._  
 _But it's my burden to bear._

 _Yet still..._

 _I hope for a light in these dark shadows of wrong doings,_  
 _I hope for that glass to break,_  
 _I know it will hurt,_  
 _But only for a short time,_  
 _Wounds can heal,_  
 _Scars fade over time._  
 _It's waiting that hurts the most,_  
 _Waiting for everything to break,_  
 _Waiting for the unknown._

 _...I can't do this by myself._

 _Behind this cool facade,_  
 _I'm begging,_  
 _Screaming:_

 _"Somebody help me please!_  
 _I feel so worthless,_  
 _So used!_  
 _Help me break down._  
 _Help me scream,_  
 _Help me cry,_  
 _Help me not feel so numb!"_


End file.
